Top 20+ Witty Quotes that Help You Relax

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This page shows collection of witty quotes that may help you relaxed after studying and working. Wittiness is one trait of interesting people. Those who are witty might impress others by communicating and expressing that they are ideal friends. Hope you will like these quotes!

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Witty Quotations

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it. – Andre Maurois

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.- Walt Disney (1901-1966)

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. – Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

People who can’t be witty exert themselves to be devout and affectionate. – George Eliot

Do, or do not. There is no ‘try’. – Yoda

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.

I don’t know the key to success but I know the key to failure is trying to please everybody. – Bill Cosby

Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip. – Winston Churchill

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former. – Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners. – Florence King

Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research. – Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems. I’m tired of solving them for you.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. – Margaret Mead

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite.

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

Witty Quotes and Saying Images

I have 5 fingers for reasons.

We all know who is really a girl’s best friend. Yours sincerely chocolate cake.

Facebook is like a jail. You sit around, waste time, have a profile picture, write on walls and get poked by guys you don’t really know.

Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs. But it’s your choice to scream or enjoy the ride.

I didn’t want to kiss you goodbye, that was the trouble. I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And theres a lot of difference.

Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.

All you have to know about men and women

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Woman are crazy, men are stupid and the main reason woman are craxy is that men are stupid.

Hope these Witty Quotes will help you feel more comfortable and relaxed after working and studying!

You can see more Funny Quotes on Saying Images.

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