Prince Philip Quotes: His Famous Comments and Clangers

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Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, and husband and consort of Queen Elizabeth II is a very colorful character.

Born in June 10, 1921 in Greece, Philip first started writing letters to a thirteen year old Elizabeth. After serving in the Pacific fleets in WWII, he was allowed to marry the princess abandoning his Danish and Greek titles in the process. He became a British prince in 1957 and had 4 children with his wife. Prince Philip holds the title for longest-serving consort of a reigning British monarch and also the oldest male member of the British royal family.

A keen sportsman, Prince Philip was known for being blunt and straightforward in his speech. This has provoked from the media and masses either outrage or laughter. He even made up a word for his gaffes: “Dontopedalogy  is  the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, a science which I have practised for a good many years.”

Check out these Prince Philip quotes and see which are his gaffes or humorous anecdotes.

The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined. 

prince philip famous quotes

You can’t have been here that long — you haven’t got a pot belly. (to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary, in 1993)

You have mosquitoes. I have the Press. (to matron of Caribbean hospital, 1966)

prince phillip quotes gaffes

If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed. (to British students in China, during the 1986 state visit)

British women can’t cook. (to the Scottish WI in 1961)

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Aren’t most of you descended from pirates? (to a wealthy islander in the Cayman Islands in 1994)

It seems to me that it’s the best way of wasting money that I know of. I don’t think investments on the moon pay a very high dividend.

quotes from the prince philip

Education, journalism, technology, entertainment and business may also find better methods for their purpose than books and writing. But this does not mean that tapes and films have made books obsolescent—the contention is almost too ludicrous to be taken seriously. Books are certainly old fashioned, but only people with a very limited perception are silly enough to condemn ideas because of their age. It is, of course, equally silly to condemn the new fangled simply because it is strange, and I am full of admiration for the technologists who have developed all sorts of gadgets for the purpose of improving communications. However, I believe that all these fascinating machines are complementary to, and not substitutes for, books and the printed word.

Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed. (during the 1981 recession)

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It looks as if it was put in by an Indian. (pointing at an old-fashioned fusebox in a factory near Edinburgh in 1999)

If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it. (at a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting)

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I just wonder what it would be like to be reincarnated in an animal whose species had been so reduced in numbers than it was in danger of extinction. What would be its feelings toward the human species whose population explosion had denied it somewhere to exist… I must confess that I am tempted to ask for reincarnation as a particularly deadly virus. 

A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman. 

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Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf. (to young deaf people in Cardiff, in 1999, referring to a school’s steel band)

People usually say that after a fire it is water damage that is the worst. We are still trying to dry out Windsor Castle. (to Lockerbie residents after plane bombing, 1993)

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You look like you’re ready for bed! (to President of Nigeria, who was in national dress, 2003)

You are a woman, aren’t you? (In Kenya, in 1984, after accepting a small gift from a local woman)

prince philip gaffes

Are you all one family? (to multi-ethnic Britain’s Got Talent 2009 winners Diversity)

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test? (to a driving instructor in Oban, Scotland, during a 1995 walkabout)

quotes by prince philip

You managed not to get eaten then? (suggesting to a student in 1998 who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea that tribes there were still cannibals)

Do you still throw spears at each other? (In Australia in 2002 talking to a successful aborigine entrepreneur)

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Yak, yak, yak; come on get a move on. (shouted from the deck of Britannia in Belize in 1994 to the Queen who was chatting to her hosts on the quayside)

Do you know they’re now producing eating dogs for the anorexics? (to a blind woman outside Exeter Cathedral, 2002)

funny things prince phillip has said

It looks like a tart’s bedroom. (on seeing plans for the Duke and Duchess of York’s house at Sunninghill Park in 1988)

Ah good, there’s so many over there you feel they breed them just to put in orphanages.

funny prince philip quotes

How can you tell the difference between them? (after hearing President Obama had had breakfast with leaders of the UK, China and Russia, 2010)

Well, you’ll never fly in it, you’re too fat to be an astronaut. (to 13-year-old Andrew Adams who told Philip he wanted to go into space. Salford, 2001)

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There’s a lot of your family in tonight. 

Constitutionally I don’t exist. 

prince philip duke of edinburgh gaffes

For conservation to be successful it is necessary to take into consideration that it is a characteristic of man that he can only be relied upon to do anything consistently which is in his own interest. He may have occasional fits of conscience and moral rectitude but otherwise his actions are governed by self-interest. It follows then that whatever the moral reasons for conservation it will only be achieved by the inducement of profit or pleasure. 

There is nothing like it for morale to be reminded that the years are passing—ever more quickly—and that bits are dropping off the ancient frame. But it is nice to be remembered at all. 

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Why then be concerned about the conservation of wildlife when for all practical purposes we would be much better off if humans and their domestic animals and pets were the only living creatures on the face of the earth? There is no obvious and demolishing answer to this rather doubtful logic although in practice the destruction of all wild animals would certainly bring devastating changes to our existence on this planet as we know it today…The trouble is that everything in nature is completely interdependent. Tinker with one part of it and the repercussions ripple out in all directions… Wildlife — and that includes everything from microbes to blue whales and from a fungus to a redwood tree — has been so much part of life on the earth that we are inclined to take its continued existence for granted…Yet the wildlife of the world is disappearing, not because of a malicious and deliberate policy of slaughter and extermination, but simply because of a general and widespread ignorance and neglect. 

It is an old cliche to say that the future is in the hands of the young. This is no longer true. The quality of life to be enjoyed or the existence to be survived by our children and future generations is in our hands now. 

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I declare this thing open, whatever it is. (on a visit to Canada in 1969)

I don’t think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.

prince philip funny moments

What do you gargle with, pebbles? (speaking to singer Tom Jones after the 1969 Royal Variety Performance)

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. (on marriage)

funny prince philip

We don’t come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. (in Canada in 1976)

We didn’t have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun, asking “Are you all right? Are you sure you don’t have a ghastly problem?” You just got on with it. (about the Second World War commenting on modern stress counselling for servicemen in 1995)

If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats? (in 1996, amid calls to ban firearms after the Dunblane shooting)

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Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species in the world. (in Thailand, in 1991, after accepting a conservation award)

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