By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Top Funny Quotes, Funny Pictures
If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner. – Tallulah Bankhead
Funny quotes picture: After Tuesday, even the calender goes WTF.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. – Robert Bloch
I changed my password everywhere to ‘incorrect.’ That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, ‘Your password is incorrect.’
You say I’m dirty mind, but how did you understand what I meant?
It is funny how when I’m loud, people tell me to be quiet, but when I’m quiet, people ask me what’s wrong with me.
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
Dance like no one is watching, because they are not, they are checking their phone.
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it’s having the phone number of somebody who does!
Marriage is a workshop, where husband works and wife shops.
It’s really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something complicated.
If people talk about you behind your back, then just fart!
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.
On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people chooose to be stupid.
Funny quotes & Sayings: Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!
It is hard to be a woman. You must think like a man, act like a lady, look like a young girl, and work like a horse.
When opportunity knocks, some people are in the backyard looking for four-leaf clovers. – Polish Proverbs
Men are like Bluetooth: he is connected to you when you are nearby, but searches for other devices when you are away. Women are like wifi: she sees all available devices but connects to the strongest one.
When a women says “What?” It’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you’ll need me to complete your picture. – Savannah Highnote
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