It’s hard to imagine going about life without laughs in between. When things get too serious, it’s only right to shake them up with fun and laughter. Whether it’s classic puns, hilarious observations about our day-to-day or very relatable sentiments, comedy works its magic to remind us that we’re not alone. And how sometimes we just need to laugh it off.
Because we need comedy now more than ever, here are 45 funny quotes about life, love, family, and just about anything under the sun to make you go LOL.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. – Margaret Mead
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.”
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates
If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner. – Tallulah Bankhead
Funny quotes picture: After Tuesday, even the calendar goes WTF.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. – Rodney Dangerfield
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. – Robert Bloch
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. – Les Dawson
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are. – Will Ferrell
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. – Chris Rock
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. – Oscar Wilde
You say I’m dirty minded, but how did you understand what I meant?
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. – Albert Einstein
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, just try missing a couple of payments. – Earl Wilson
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’ – Steven Wright
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. – Elbert Hubbard
Dance like no one is watching, because they are not, they are checking their phone.
I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. – George Burns
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it’s having the phone number of somebody who does!
Marriages don’t last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? – Rita Rudner
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know. – W. H. Auden
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society. – Mark Twain
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes. – Jack Handey
Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve. – David Letterman
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? – Robin Williams
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. – Lana Turner
When opportunity knocks, some people are in the backyard looking for four-leaf clovers. – Polish Proverbs
I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back. – Jimmy Kimmel
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
It is hard to be a woman. You must think like a man, act like a lady, look like a young girl, and work like a horse.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde
Men are like Bluetooth: he is connected to you when you are nearby, but searches for other devices when you are away. Women are like wifi: she sees all available devices but connects to the strongest one.
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. – Ron White
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. – Robert Frost
I changed my password everywhere to ‘incorrect.’ That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, ‘Your password is incorrect.’
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. – Rita Rudner
Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie
When a women says “What?” It’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you’ll need me to complete your picture. – Savannah Highnote
Share these 45 funny quotes to make your loved ones give out their best laughs.