Funny Christmas Quotes & Sayings


It’s time to prepare for Christmas , check out these funny Christmas quotes & sayings with pictures. Merry Christmas! Feel free to send these hilarious quotes to friends & family members!

Hilarious Christmas Quotes

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. – Victor Borge

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Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. – Dave Barry

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Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. – Frank McKinney Hubbard

See Also: Best Christmas Cards, Messages, Quotes, Wishes, Images

Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.

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Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music. – Tom Sims

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “toys not included.” – Bernard Manning

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I stopped believing in Santa Clause when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. – Shirley Temple

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As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December’s bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same. – Donald Westlake

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. – Johnny Carson

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Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account. – Melanie White

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. – Phyllis Diller


A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. – Garrison Keillor

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. 

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Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. – Larry Wilde

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Do you know why so many people love Jesus? Without Jesus, no Christmas. – Melanie White

Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? – Bart Simpson

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From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it. – Katharine Whitehorn

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Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. – Oren Arnold

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Hope you like these funny Christmas quotes & sayings!

See Also: 20 Most Funny Christmas Cards

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